I took the pool back to Kmart today. It reaked of chlorine and was retaining water. Kmart returned it without issue and I have moved on with my life.
Smashwords didn’t like that I indented my dialog, so they rejected Body Rentals. They also wanted the words “Smashwords Edition” on the title page. No matter how much I insisted it was done intentionally, they wouldn’t relent. I have pulled my stories from smashwords and urge you all to take your business elsewhere.