#FFC52 I hope you like my story for TiV’s twenty-fourth prompt. It weighed in at 491 words.
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“I’d seen some big ones in my time, but this one…..this one was huge.”
Christine looked up from the book she was reading. “Whaddaya mean? Bigger than last month?”
Emily waved the paper at Christine. “Take a look.” She tossed the paper on the coffee table between them.
Christine snapped her book closed and seized the paper. She furrowed her brow and scoffed when she scanned the title of the paper: Consolidated Power.
“What the hell?” She finally said after noticing the amount due. “Jacob!”
The two women heard the thundering cacophony of footfalls on the steps leading upstairs. A door was flung open and a disheveled teen boy galloped into the living room.
He stood behind Christine. “Mom.” Turning to Emily, he continued his greeting. “Mom. What’s up?”
Christine turned in her chair and waved the electric bill. “Why is our power bill four times what it was last month?”
“I uhh…” He picked at an unseen thread on the chair. “I built a device in the basement.”
Emily stood and walked around the coffee table. “What does it do?”
“It’s better I just show you.” Jacob started towards the basement door and called over his shoulder. “Come on!”
Christine and Emily followed their son to the bottom of the basement stairs. At the bottom, he flipped a switch on the wall, turned around and beamed at his mothers.
A haze of electrical discharge formed in the center of the basement. Waves emanating from the distortion seemed to bend reality, then dissipated. Christine opened her mouth to speak, but Jacob put his finger to his lips. “Listen.” He said.
The trio strained their ears and heard a conversation from the living room above.
A recognizable voice sounded. “….this one was huge.”
Another voice, equally as recognizable, responded. “Whaddaya mean? Bigger than last month?”
The women stared at their son, ignoring the conversation above. Christine was the first to recover. “Are we…?”
Jacob nodded. “We’re eleven minutes in the past. We can’t interact with anything and we’re not visible to anyone.”
Emily spoke next. “What’s gonna happen now?”
Before Jacob could respond, the overhead lights flickered on and another Jacob bounded down the steps. He gripped the same lever Jacob still held and hopped from one foot to the other while his mothers walked down the same steps. As soon as both women were at the bottom of the steps, he flipped the lever.
As soon as the lever’s contacts closed the room went completely dark. The steady thrum of the household air conditioning fell silent as did other household electrical noises.
This Jacob would be scolded for causing a city-wide blackout. Consolidated Power would cancel service to his home. He would be forever unaware of the trio who saw his device work since they blinked out of existence the moment the lever was thrown. He would grow up unknowing. He and his mothers would never experience the adventures his device wrought.
June 11th, 2014 at 19:36
Hahaha! Man, I knew I could count on you not only to have a story out like lightning, but to have one that is both clever and funny. Great job, Mark!
June 11th, 2014 at 19:46
Thanks. I was hoping for a sad ending.
June 11th, 2014 at 19:50
I didnt get sad – I got more of a feeling like it worked, but paradox or what have you kicked in and shut it down, so that it never worked, and the kid just gets in trouble never realizing he was a success. Which is kind of funny, in a sitcom kind of way ;)
June 11th, 2014 at 20:18
Bravo, Mark. This was definitely a good one. Poor Jacob; imagine, all that work, and he never gets the payoff. I love the two moms!
June 11th, 2014 at 20:22
Had I had more words, I would’ve expanded Jacob’s world and his relationship with his moms.
June 11th, 2014 at 22:29
I love time travel stories, Mark! For a moment, I thought that Jacob & Moms would be caught in a time warp, continuing to keep going down the stairs, watching the device. Ah, hurts my brain to think about it! Terrific take on this prompt!
June 11th, 2014 at 22:35
If you like time travel, pick up Paradox. It’ll be free starting on Friday for my Kickstarter campaign.
If these flashes were longer, I would’ve had an infinite loop. I totally wanted to write that. I’ve always liked Groundhog Day, Dean of the Moment (Supernatural) and a few others I can’t grasp right now due to the lateness of the hour.
June 11th, 2014 at 22:39
Love all those movies! Add Tom Cruise’s newest movie to the list too – he keeps reliving the same incidents. I will pick up Paradox! Thanks for the heads-up.
June 12th, 2014 at 05:01
A huge power bill–what’s more horrifying than that (I just got one, so I know)! And to be caught in a time warp of receiving that bill over and over again! Yikes! Congrats on a great take on this prompt! Very clever and engaging! Time travel always makes a good story! It stokes our “imagine if . . .” muscle. It also makes for some good fish-out-of-water tales!
Haven’t seen Paradox yet, but just watched the new X-Men. Have you read Stephen King’s “11-22-63?” It’s f’ing awesome!
Also, you should flesh this story out!
TiV
June 15th, 2014 at 23:29
An excellent piece with a bittersweet ending. It’s a shame they’ll miss out on the experiences but probably for the best.
Great job.
June 16th, 2014 at 07:35
Thanks Man. I was thinking ‘Sliders’ when I wrote it, so maybe it’s good it failed, right?
June 18th, 2014 at 04:53
[…] “Unaware“ Article 94 […]
June 18th, 2014 at 12:48
Bummer. So long, mom. Where can I get one of those? This was great. It is so well conceived and very well written. Lucy
June 18th, 2014 at 13:00
I’m glad you likey. I’ve said it already, but if you like this, you’ll like Paradox.
June 19th, 2014 at 05:21
Great work, Mark. I really enjoyed this :)
June 19th, 2014 at 13:46
Thanks! I appreciate you taking the time to comment about it here.